


Bless This Happiness

by broadway_and_burbank



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:07:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21779566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broadway_and_burbank/pseuds/broadway_and_burbank
Summary: As Anna has trouble balancing her queenly duties while being a new mother, she begins to doubt her ability to do either.
Relationships: Anna/Kristoff (Disney)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 105





	Bless This Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to the amazing gabiwnomagic and kristoffbjorg on tumblr! gabiwnomagic also created some PHENOMENAL art that's on my blog and you should go take a look and support her!

Anna didn’t even realize when she fell asleep. She was doing paperwork in her office, then suddenly she started, oil lamps dim and ink spilled all over the parchment. “Oh no,” she sighed, trying in vain to save the drowned document.

But it was useless, so Anna slumped back in her chair in a very un-queenlike way as she groaned. It was ruined; she’d have to start all over. But that would have to wait until tomorrow; she was exhausted.

A glance at the clock above the mantle showed it to be after one in the morning. Standing up, Anna stretched, leaving the mess on her desk to deal with tomorrow. She glanced at her hands and stuck her tongue out at the black smudges covering them.

She turned down the lamps and left the office, carefully closing the door behind her. She passed a few members of the staff and greeted them all, but it was otherwise fairly quiet. The walk to her room seemed longer than usual and Anna yawned as she rubbed her face.

Finally making it to the large door of her bedroom, Anna opened it and slipped inside, making sure to stay as quiet as possible. The fire was mostly out; only glowing embers reminded. The curtains were open and the light of the moon lit everything slightly silver. Letting her eyes adjust, Anna saw Kristoff’s form in their bed, his back turned to her as he slept.

Anna smiled as she took off her heels. Leaving them carelessly by the door, she tiptoed past their bed and grabbed the candle on the bedside table. After lighting it, she went into the adjoining room. The nursery was designed right next to their room and the door connecting them was always left open.

Placing the candle on a table by the window, Anna crept over to the bassinet and felt her heart swell as she looked down.

Ingrid was asleep, her small hands curled by her head as she slept. Anna gently reached down to stroke her daughter’s cheek, marveling at its softness. Her baby girl’s thin blonde hair shone against the moonlight and Anna knew that behind those closed lids was a pair of beautiful, wide brown eyes. Her father’s eyes.

Ingrid looked so much like him, although she has Anna’s nose. Kristoff always joked how bad he’d feel if she got his nose and Anna would roll her eyes and tell him for the millionth time how much she loved his nose, but secretly she was glad a part of her was displayed on their child’s face.

Leaning down, Anna pressed a featherlight kiss against the sleeping girl’s forehead. “I love you,” she whispered, pulling away while continuing to watch her daughter. She’d only seen her a few times that day – like most days, unfortunately – so any chance to watch her perfect, round face was gift. Anna knew being queen was a nearly all-time consuming task, but at moments like this, she couldn’t help the melancholy that began to swallow her joy and calm.

Since Anna had been feeding her less than before, as they’d begun to introduce solid food to the baby, she’d had even less time with her. It was only a week until Ingrid’s first birthday, and Anna felt like time was moving way too fast. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had even an hour with her daughter.

A warm, gentle hand curved around her shoulder and Anna smiled up at Kristoff as he joined her. “Hey, you,” she said quietly, leaning up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I thought you were asleep.”

“Nah.” Kristoff yawned, invalidating his statement. “Just resting.” He kept his voice at a whisper level.

Anna sighed and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Long day?” Kristoff asked as he held her closer.

“You have no idea. How about you?” She asked, looking up at her husband. “How was your day? How’s she doing?” Anna asked, looking back down to their child.

“Amazing,” Kristoff said, his eyes going soft. “She’s just… _amazing._ Missed her mama, though. I did, too.”

“I’m sorry.” Anna felt that pain in her chest again and glanced at Kristoff. “I know I’ve been so busy –”

“Hey, it’s alright. Don’t apologize; I know you have a lot on your mind. Just make sure you’re taking time for yourself, too.”

Anna gave him another kiss on the cheek and hummed at the back of her throat. “I just want to get to bed, honestly.”

“Then let’s get you to bed.” Kristoff leaned down to stroke one of Ingrid’s tiny hands before grabbing the candle and leading Anna out of the room, leaving the door open.

Anna breathed out in relief as Kristoff helped her out of her dress and sighed as she took her hair down. She grinned when he placed a kiss against her neck, his fingers caressing her bare shoulders. “Honey, not tonight,” she said, placing her hand on his arm. “I’m exhausted.”

Kristoff smiled back and brought her hand up to his lips and gave her knuckles a kiss. “Okay. Here, I’ll get your nightgown.”

“Thank you.” Anna smiled gratefully as Kristoff left her side and she continued to take off her layers of constrictive clothing. He brought her nightdress over to her and she slipped it over her head, reveling in its comfort.

Kristoff cleaned the black ink smudges off of her hands and face before they climbed in bed. He blew out the candle and Anna snuggled close to him, falling into a deep sleep as soon as she closed her eyes.

\------

The next day was much like any other.

Kristoff woke her up before dawn as she requested and she got ready for her day, kissing her husband and daughter goodbye before she went from meeting to meeting, office to office, making sure everything was signed and decisions were made as she fought through her exhaustion.

She managed to catch her family once at the tail end of lunch, but then she was off again, and she didn’t have much time to think about anything but the growing list of demands in front of her.

It was on one of those all-too-common hectic days, when Anna was in a meeting with her advisors, that a slight commotion started in the hall. There was a pair of frantic voices coming through the door, and one of them sounded like her husband. “Excuse me for a moment,” she told the council before her, and stood up as slowly as she could, although curiosity made her want to run.

Opening the door and slipping out of the room, Anna saw Kristoff and Kai in the hallway. Kristoff’s eyes lit up the second he saw her.

“I’m sorry, your majesty,” Kai said, turning to her. “I tried to tell Sir Kristoff that you were indisposed –”

“Anna!” Kristoff called out. He was smiling so wide; Anna couldn’t imagine what was going on. He seemed unbelievably giddy and even started laughing. He looked down to the happily squealing baby in his arms before grinning back at Anna. “She spoke! Ingrid spoke!”

“What?” A smile growing on her own face, Anna rushed over to her family, tickling her baby girl’s cheek. “Oh my God! She did?” Only taking her eyes off her daughter for a moment, Anna turned to Kai. “Kai, please tell the council I’ll be back in the moment.” When he nodded, Anna pulled Kristoff farther down the hall and giggled like mad.

“Can you believe it?” Kristoff couldn’t seem to stop laughing either, the joy and disbelief evident in his brown eyes. “Inga said her first word!” Holding the child up in the air, the baby squealed in excitement as Kristoff kissed all over her face.

“Her first word.” The phrasing of that caused Anna’s excitement to falter. “...I missed it.”

“What? No, Anna.” Smiling gently, Kristoff brought Ingrid back down in his arms. “It’s okay; she’ll do it again. Show mama!” He said, turning the child so her curious brown eyes looked up at her mother. “Show mama what you said.” Ingrid just squealed and put a few of her fingers in her mouth. “Say ‘papa’,” Kristoff said, beaming.

“Was...was that her first word? Papa?”

“ _Papa,_ ” Ingrid garbled, screeching in delight when Kristoff held her up again, praising the child.

“Yes!” He laughed again, giving their daughter a kiss on her chubby cheek. “I’m so proud of you! Papa’s so proud of you, Inga!”

Anna couldn’t help the gasp that left her throat. Ingrid just _spoke._ Her daughter just spoke! She felt elated, and yet, her heart dropped into her stomach. Her emotions swirled inside her like a storm and she couldn’t sort them out, but she felt the rising tide of jealousy.

“Isn’t she just _incredible?_ ” Kristoff was absolutely beaming, so Anna tried her best not to show the disappointment settling in her gut. Not only had she _missed_ the very first time her daughter spoke, but she had called out to her father before her. “I came to tell you as _soon_ as it happened!” he continued, and the happy gurgles of Ingrid mixed with his voice. “I’ve been trying to get her to say that for _weeks!_ Can you believe this?”

“Can I believe that she learned the _one_ word you’ve taught her?” Anna _knew_ she was being unfair and ridiculous; she was getting jealous of her _husband?_ Because of the bond he shared with their child? That was a good thing! Any mother would be thrilled to have a man like Kristoff to help raise their family. And while Anna was, she couldn’t help but get aggravated. She was aggravated at herself, but when she spoke, she took it out on him. “Yes, actually, I can.” She didn’t look at him, but she could almost feel the smile slip off of his face.

“What?”

Feeling ashamed at herself, Anna forced herself to look up and cringed at the clear look of hurt on his face. “I...I’m sorry. I’m so, _so_ happy Kristoff. I am.”

“Anna, what’s wrong?” he asked as Ingrid reached for his vest, her little hands pulling at the fabric.

“It’s stupid.”

“Hey.” He pulled her close, keeping one arm around their daughter as the other wrapped around Anna. “It’s not stupid. Tell me.”

Looking down at Ingrid, Anna could help but sigh. “It _is_ stupid. I just...I want her to say mama, that’s all.”

“Anna.” Kristoff kissed her temple. “I’ve been teaching her that one, too. I think it’s just a bit more difficult to get the hang of. She’ll get there.”

“I know, I know. I just…” Taking a deep breath, Anna spoke again. “I’m worried she doesn’t really...know me,” she confessed. “I see her with you, and she doesn’t act that way with me.”

“What? Anna, she _adores_ you. She just…she just sees me a little more than you, but that doesn’t mean anything!” he backtracked, giving Anna another smile. “Here, why don’t you take her for a bit?”

But when he handed their daughter to her, Anna glanced back at the closed double doors down the hall, feeling her heart constrict in her chest. She looked back at her family. “I _really_ have to get back to work. I’m so sorry, Kristoff.”

“It’s alright.”

Anna didn’t feel better when he said that. Because it _wasn’t_ alright. She knew it, and she was willing to bet that he did, too. He was just trying to make her feel better.

“How about tonight, then?” Kristoff asked when the silence went on for too long. “If you want to put her to bed –”

“I have some paperwork to finish tonight. Just some things I need to sign, but –”

“Then let me do it.”

“What?”

“Let me actually help you for once.”

“Kristoff –”

“I’m serious.” Ingrid was still giggling, but Kristoff was no longer smiling. His eyes were thoughtful as he looked at her. “I’ve stepped back and let you do what you need to do, and I won’t ever stop doing that, but I would really appreciate it if you would let me _actually_ take some of this weight off your shoulders, okay? Just let yourself go to bed at a normal hour for _one_ night. Please? For me and for her.”

Anna felt a sudden swell of delight spread in her chest as she looked up at him. “You’re sure it’s a good idea?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

And Anna thought maybe that was just what she needed: some time alone with her daughter and the opportunity for an early night. She gave her husband a quick kiss before she had to go. “Okay.”

But it was very much _not_ okay, Anna would find out, when the sky was dark and the halls quieted down and it was time to put Ingrid to bed. Kristoff was gone, finishing her work like he promised, and Anna was in the nursery, chest aching as her daughter wailed.

“Shh,” Anna said, bouncing the crying baby in her arms, circling the nursery. “ _Please,_ ” she begged, looking around for something, _anything,_ to make the crying stop. Ingrid had been crying for fifteen minutes straight, and Anna could not get her to sleep. She’d already fed her, she didn’t need to be changed, so she didn’t know _what_ the matter was. Placing her in the bassinet didn’t help, and Anna couldn’t stand the thought of just leaving her there to cry alone. “Do you want your doll?” she asked, reaching down to the floor to grab the doll and tried to show it to the child. It was Anna’s favorite toy when she was little, and she thought Ingrid liked it, too, but the baby only continued to cry.

Taking a deep breath, Anna continued to rock and bounce her daughter, pleading for her to stop. “It’s time to sleep, _please._ Don’t you want to sleep? Mama wants to sleep.”

“ _Papa,_ ” came the gurgled reply.

“I _know,_ ” Anna whimpered, helplessly looking down at her daughter. “I _know_ you want your papa; I _know_ he’s better at this than me, okay?” But the infant’s crying continued and so did Anna’s silent pleas.

But she rocked and bounced and sang to the infant, and still nothing helped. When she heard the door to their room open and shut, she actually sighed with relief. “Kristoff! Thank God.” She turned around as her husband entered the nursery, worry in his eyes.

“You’re still up? What’s wrong?”

“She won’t stop crying!” Anna bounced the child, taking deep breathes to calm herself. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong! She won’t stop, Kristoff!”

“Anna, breathe. You’re not doing anything wrong. May I?” He held out his hands and Anna transferred the screaming baby into his capable arms. “Shh, Inga. It’s alright. You’re okay.” Using his soothing voice, Kristoff went over to the rocking chair and grabbed the stuffed reindeer sitting in the center. Talking calmly to the baby, he held up the toy, letting Ingrid reach for it.

The baby suddenly squealed, a wobbly laugh escaping her mouth.

“…how did you do that?” Anna’s voice shook with astonishment and slight irritation.

“It’s her favorite,” Kristoff said gently, holding the significantly calmer child. “She can’t sleep without it.” Leaning over the bassinet, he gave Ingrid a kiss on the forehead and laid her down, making sure to tuck her in next to the reindeer. Her little fist curled around one of its soft antlers.

As Anna watched the scene, she felt her eyes well up with tears. She didn’t even know her daughter’s favorite toy. That simple detail stung like a wound.

Kristoff began to stroke the back of his finger against their daughter’s cheek and Ingrid’s eyes began to flutter shut, her face calmer than Anna had seen it all night.

“See?” He asked quietly, looking back up to Anna. “She’s fine.”

Anna burst into tears.

“Anna?” Clearly alarmed, Kristoff rushed over to her, but Anna pulled away as he reached for her, beyond frustrated and upset.

“I’m going to bed,” she said, snapping at him when she knew she didn’t have the right to. “Since she clearly wants you more, anyway.” Wiping at her eyes, Anna stormed out of the nursery, tugging angrily at her dress, unable to undo the ties on the back of her dress herself.

She gave a loud huff as she dropped her hands, clenching her fists in her skirt. She jumped as she felt Kristoff’s hand on her lower back, turning around to face him.

“Anna, _what_ is going on?” His tone matched the concern in his eyes, and Anna only felt worse.

“Thanks for getting her to sleep,” she said curtly, fatigue and self-doubt creating a dangerous combination in her mind. “I didn’t realize it was so _easy._ ” _What_ was she even blaming him for? For being the better parent?

“Wait, you’re upset because I got her to sleep?”

“No, I’m upset because I can’t! I can’t make her sleep; I can’t make her laugh. I can’t do _anything._ ”

The sadness in his eyes made her stomach churn. “Anna –”

“No, it’s true,” she cut him off. “She doesn’t want me.”

“I know you’re having a rough time,” Kristoff said in a voice that was always so soft, so kind. “But I need you to know that none of that is true. You carried her, brought her into this world, fed her, and cared for her with more love than I’ve ever seen another person give. You’re her mother and she _loves_ you.”

Shaking her head, Anna felt guilt settling in her gut at his words. “No, I don’t care for her right; I get frustrated and upset and I know I shouldn’t, but I don’t know what to do –”

“You do. Whenever you think you don’t know what to do, you always figure it out. You’re just too tired to think straight. When was the last time you’ve actually had a full night’s sleep?”

“I’m _fine._ But I do have a meeting with the council tomorrow morning.” Changing the subject, Anna looked at him as levelly as she was able. “And I’d really like to focus on that, so let’s just drop it for now, okay?”

“No, it’s _not_ okay. I’m not just –”

“Kristoff.” Anna didn’t like the tone that slipped out of her mouth. It sounded too harsh. Too final. Too queenlike. “I’m going to bed. Either you help me out of this dress or I’ll find Gerda to do it. I’m done with this conversation.”

They were quiet as he helped her undress, and when they got into bed, they stayed on their respective sides.

It was dark, but Anna couldn’t sleep. All she felt was failure and defeat at herself. She loved being Queen and she loved Arendelle. But she loved her family more. Unfortunately, it seemed like suddenly her heart wasn’t big enough.

\------

Anna peaked her eyes open, groggily coming to terms to the world around her as she did every morning. She could hear the sounds of Kristoff speaking to Ingrid in the nursery. She blinked the sleep out of her eyes, adjusting to the mid-morning light.

Wait – _mid-morning?_

Her eyes shot open as she sat up, heart beating in her chest erratically. “Wait!” She bolted up, kicking the heavy blankets off her form.

Rushing into their bedroom, Kristoff turned to her. “What’s wrong?”

“What time is it?” She pulled her hair back frantically, eyes wild.

“Uh…” Kristoff, glanced at the clock above the mantle. “A little before eleven.”

“ _Eleven?_ ” Anna heard Ingrid whine in the other room. “Eleven?” She lowered her voice as she asked again, but the harshness remained. “I had a meeting with the council at _nine-thirty._ Why did you let me sleep so late?” Anna ran to her wardrobe, pushing through it.

Kristoff stared incredulously at his frantic wife. “I know. I got up early and told them to postpone it.”

“You did _what?_ ” Forgetting about her choice of outfit for the day, Anna turned on Kristoff. “That was important!”

“You needed to _sleep._ You’re exhausted, Anna.”

“No, I needed to go to that meeting. Jesus, Kristoff, are you serious?” Her frustration was rising and she felt tears of stress and anger pooling in her eyes.

“Am _I_ serious? Do you even hear yourself?” Kristoff’s voice rose as well. “After last night, you’re really going to tell me that you don’t need a break?”

Anna pulled at her hair, trying to center her thoughts. “You do _not_ have the right to postpone it without asking me!”

“Anna, look at yourself!” It was clear he didn’t mean to yell, because he lowered his voice immediately. “You’re barely sleeping, I haven’t seen you eat more than one meal a day; you’re running yourself ragged.”

“I’m fine; it’s fine –”

“No, it’s not fine. Anna...I know this is going to sound crazy, but you need to stop trying so hard.”

Anna felt her determination waiver as she tried to stare him down. The worried, caring gaze in his eyes caused her to falter. “I...I don’t know what you mean.”

Sighing, Kristoff rubbed his hands over his face before dropping them to his sides. “It’s been over two years since Elsa left. When are you going to realize that you’re an incredible queen? You spend nearly _all_ of your time taking care of other people and then you wonder why you miss things in your own life.” The silence following his statement grew heavy. He sighed before gently grabbing her hands in his. When Anna didn’t pull away, he continued. “And I don’t blame you for any of that. I know you’re doing what needs to get done. You have responsibilities most people will never have to deal with. But you’re also not alone. I’m here. Gerda, Kai, Mattias, an entire staff of capable people who care for this kingdom just as much as you do. You have _so many people_ here who could help if you let them.”

Anna stayed silent. All she could do was look to the floor and shrug, but when Kristoff put a palm to her cheek, she couldn’t help but lean into it as she gazed back up at him.

“You are the leader Arendelle deserves.” His voice grew soft. “But you’re also a mother. You have two of the most difficult jobs in the world, but you don’t need to be perfect at everything at the same time.”

“I…” Feeling herself tear up, Anna suddenly threw her arms around his waist, digging her head into his chest. “I just want to prove that I can do it,” she whispered. “I want to make my people proud.”

Kristoff held her close in his embrace and laid his cheek atop her head. “Your people _are_ proud of you. You parents would be so proud of you. I know Elsa is. I’m proud to be able to stand by your side every single day and call you my wife. And Ingrid, Anna, she’s going to grow up and be _so_ proud to call you her mother.”

“I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“You’re not. You do so much for everyone else. It’s time you did something for yourself. Don’t you think your people want you to be happy, too? What do _you_ want?”

The stress and emotion seemed to hit her all at once and Anna just leaned against him, suddenly exhausted. “I...I just want to sleep.”

Kristoff picked her up and laid her back in bed, tucking the covers around her. “Go back to sleep, then. Everything will still be here when you wake up, I promise. Arendelle’s not going to fall into the fjord if you take a day off.”

“Thank you.” Anna was already nodding off, but she felt his lingering kiss on her forehead as she closed her eyes.

\------

Anna awoke to the sound of Kristoff’s voice.

The bright afternoon sun shown through the open curtains as he had a conversation with Ingrid, her responses unintelligible, but he simply nodded and kept talking the way one would during a riveting conversation.

Anna smiled. She hadn’t felt that rested in weeks and she yawned as she gently sat up, feeling a sudden, but welcome, sense of calm.

Kristoff turned at the sound and smiled. “Mama’s up,” he said to Ingrid, her head resting on his shoulder.

Anna got out of bed and made her way over to the window. “Can I see her?” Her voice was thick with sleep, but she grinned as she took their daughter in her arms.

“How do you feel?”

“So much better.” Anna glanced down at Ingrid before looking at Kristoff. “Thank you. And I am _so_ sorry. I’m so sorry for what I said. I didn’t know it would be this difficult, and I took it out on you.”

Kristoff placed his hand on her waist and kissed the top of her head. “And I’m sorry. I should have done something sooner.”

“This isn’t your fault.”

“I’m not blameless. I knew things were hard for a while, but when I brought it up, you always told me you were fine. I shouldn’t have listened for so long.”

Looking out to the fjord, Anna held Ingrid in her arms, gently running her pinky between her eyes and down her nose. “I’m a good queen; I know that, I do. But she comes first.” There was a sense of finality in her words. “I am the Queen and I will always be the Queen, but I want to be her mother first. My parents always said duty over everything and I believed that until I had her. I’m sorry I let my stubbornness get in the way of that.” As her daughter closed her eyes, Anna rested her small head on her shoulder, keeping her hand steady on her back.

Kristoff wrapped his arms around her and kissed her before smiling down at the baby in her arms. “Inga’s birthday is in a few days. What do you say we get away for a while instead of doing something here?”

“She hasn’t seen her Auntie Elsa in a few months,” Anna said, grinning at the idea. She kissed the child’s head, reviling at the feeling and smell of her little girl. “What do you say, Inga? Want to go on a trip with mama and papa?”

“ _Papa,_ ” Ingrid babbled against her shoulder. When Kristoff looked apologetically at Anna, she just shook her head and smiled.

Kissing her daughter’s hairline, she said, “Yeah, I love him, too. And I love you. And I will always love you more than anything.”


End file.
